Smoking Room
Welcome to the Smoking Room
Would you care to retire to the smoking room, sir? No you'll not be needing your sense of decency here.
Join in our healthy, robust discussion of the pressing matters below…
Does anyone know why I’m supposed to think that the drop in house prices is such a terrifying prospect? If they fell ninety per cent or so I might finally be able to buy one, and stop working fifteen days of every month for my twat of a landlord.
Does anybody know the name for the face you pull when you’re trying to give the impression that the shitting dog on the end of the lead you’re holding isn’t yours?
Mum dragged me and my sister to Homebase the other day, and we were each allowed to choose the one product which we thought would be most useful in a medieval battle.
Watching the Transformers film the other day I took five minutes out from thinking frankly unnatural thoughts about that girly in it
Well done the MET for arresting Martyn Gilleard who, it turns out, is not only a Nazi and a paedophile, but a terrorist to boot.
I hear the Government is reclassifying the licenses needed by lap-dancing clubs.
It’s about time the Foreign and Commonwealth Office came up to scratch and showed Robert Mugabe just where the line is.
Perhaps one of you American readers can help me with something? I was reading today about a female teacher in Alabama, Julie Pritchett, who apparently had sex with a load of schoolboys
I do wish girls would read the newspapers a bit more rather than busying themselves with Heat, Take a Break and Hello!
Well done the BAE et al for exporting a stunning £16bn worth of guns, bombs, mines and other such treats, and in the process making the UK the world’s largest arms exporter.
I don’t have a problem with the BBC using the license fee to hire Chris Martin and his equally talentless trio of hippy art-schoolers to play a gig for a posse of nearly thirty Beeb apparatchiks outside their offices in White City, but did they really have to broadcast it?
What’s Chris Tarrant got under his fingernail? He’s been picking at it since he first thrust his chuckling mug on national telly at least a decade ago
After all the stick meted out to the England rugby team following their game against the All Blacks last weekend, I’m proud that they, like their footballing counterparts, have shown the world the true definition of professionalism
I can’t help thinking that the energy crisis might be solved by the simple expedient of making oil barrels a bit bigger.
I’m grateful to newspaper editors who feel that a couple of inverted commas can stand in for the word ‘alleged’ when writing their headlines.
Perhaps it’s just me, but wasn’t the media’s coverage of that baby who was born five times over the drink-drive limit a little wide of the mark?
My ex’s new boyfriend must be seriously insecure and have a pretty dirty mind...
Having read Cherie Blair say that she understands how Monica Lewinski fell for Bill Clinton, an image came unbidden into my head and is beginning to become etched into my soul.
I've been going to my local Italian restaurant for twenty-odd years, and so felt fairly within my rights to ask the woman next to me to stop breast-feeding her 'wee bairn' after the pallid mammary dropped like a hanged man out from underneath her t-shirt and the tiny Highlander started to suckle noisily.
A friend of mine finds it amusing to play a game whereby players are allowed to choose a film title and alter it by either changing a letter, adding a letter, or taking a letter away, so long as they end up with a likely title for a gay porn flick.
