2008 Megan Fox gets nearly naked for FHM

Hot totty Megan Fox, who starred in the Transformers movie and was voted number one sexiest female in the world by FHM earlier in 2008 takes you behind the scenes of a near naked photo shoot. Woo hoo I hear you cry. And.... get this - Megan has just dumped her fiance, Brian Green (do you remember the one that every girl fancied in Bev. Hills 90210? Well. He's out the window. About one minute video in Megan starts whittling on about how 'she is kind of putting herself out there, prancing around in panties'. Just shut up. And prance.

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Christopher Hitchens is waterboarded for an experiment conducted for Vanity Fair Magazine

Curious video... Neocon apologist Christopher Hitchens accepts a challenge by Vanity Fair mag editor Graydon Carter, to be 'Waterboarded'. Nothing too funny about this disgusting form of torture, other than here at eyebrow, we know that the water was secretly replaced by voddy, just so Hitchens agreed to do it in the first place. eyebrow went drinking with Christopher Hitchens the other month. Read all about it here

Trailer for the new Bond film, Quantum of Solace, starring Daniel Craig and Gemma Arterton (of St. Trinian's fame).

Britney's pants. Again.

Britney partying in LA. She looks a bit like a hangdog at the moment. (Her face).

eyebrow knows

June 30th 2008

Glastonbury disasters

First off, reliable old Wino hitting someone in the crowd during her performance at Glasto (apparently he was rude about Blakey Wakey during Back to Black). OMG BORED ALREADY? Please Amy think of something original to say out of that crackpot mouth of yours. And don't you realise that you are making a complete twat of yourself by tattoing yourself with Blake's name and wearing stupid 'blake' emblazoned bandannas? he. doesn't. give. a. shit. He's probably already bumming left right and centre and forgotten what your flaky mrs. downstairs looks like. In fact...that's prob why he got banged up in the first place.

Second off: Jaz Z please don't do this again. It's difficult to make a ten foot rapper look this pathetic but singing Oasis's 'Wonderwall' with a child's guitar in the most tuneless way possible actually made you look like a total pussy

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eyebrow knows

June 27th 2008

Mini Me Verne Troyer in celebrity sex tape

This is sort of SFW if you have ear phones in or volume down, but don't log onto the link at the end of the vid unless a) you are in the privacy of your own home b) you never ever want to be the same again. Watch this mini clip of Verne Troyer sticking his pointy little tongue out into some girl's mouth who is pretending to find him sexy. Grainy footage but you can get the drift. (Very) small man humping normal sized girl like a shrieking terrier dog

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Rod Stewart stares at Penny Lancaster's boob

Extraordinary. Rod Stewart is peering weirdly at his wife's nipple. Penny Lancaster looks resigned to pulling down her top to show Rod her baps.  She probably doesn't want to giveRod's wrinkler any loving so in return gives him a flash of her boob.

Lily Allen gives blowjob

Lily Allen video which we have just come across, where Lily Allen talks about being expelled for noshing someone off. Now there's something to smile about. Piers Morgan gives Lily some advice in his latest column where he recalls Lily Allen talking to Gordon mouth-breather Brown's wife at the Glamour awards, Sarah. Morgan says: Talking of wise decisions, I'd blow your nose the next time you talk to the Prime Minister's wife, Lily – if you get my drift.

Ex-boyband member Lee Ryan gets his girlfriend pregnant  

Ex-Blue member Lee Ryan has got his girlfriend Samantha Miller pregnant. Where did they meet? on MySpace, when Samantha sent him 'sexy' photos of herself. Hmm. Good story for when the kid grows up. "Mummy how did you meet daddy?"

"Well mummy wanted fame and fortune and so decided to get naked and flaunt herself over some halfwits MySpace profile and hope to god he fell for it. Which he did. And he lapped it up. And more. And the result is you, kiddo."

And bets on names?? Poppy or something - they'll def. try and be posh.

Jamie-Lynn Spears has a baby girl

17 year old Jamie-Lynn Spears gave birth to a healthy baby girl today via Cesearean section in Mississippi. (You know Mississippi is flooding at the moment? it was actually Jamie Lynn's water breaking). Older sister Britney Spears was there to hold her hand. The People report that the baby is called Maddie Briann. Briann? wtf kind of a name is that? Obviously she was hoping that her baby was going to be a son so she could call it Brian and just thought that by shoving an N on the end it would make it more feminine. Well let me tell you something Jamie-Lynn Spears. Oh - I forget - you are called Jamie-Lynn. That makes sense now...

Keira and Sienna get on like a house on fire

Keira and Sienna go down the red carpet at the premiere of Sharman Macdonald's (she wrote the screenplay and is also Keira's mother) film 'The Edge of Love'

It seems like Sienna 's taken the term 'Fringe festival' too far by the looks of her dress ( designed by Jasmine de Milo- Al Fayed's daughter). And holy shazzle look at the height of her heels! Obviously has a bit of a height complex next to Keira, who is looking chic in Chanel. (Old si is about two foot high). Still waiting for those naked pics that were stolen by someone (Shhhhh) from Sienna's pad in Notting Hill about three years ago....

Charlotte Church is pregnant. Again

Charlotte Church up the duff nine months after popping out Ruby Megan Henson. The 22 year old Welsh warbler gave birth to Ruby in a birthing pool at home. (eugh. Baby muck and placenta floating around in water) and said they "called their little girl 'Ruby' because it's precious, like a gem." Wow. The imagination hurts me.

Gisele strips naked for GQ magazine

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen gets her kit off for GQ magazine. NSFW. (maybe).

One on one with Pete Doherty

Pete Doherty 'treats his fans' with this absolutely fascinating insight into his life. Ok Ok - I'm as guilty as sin, I watched the whole thing - but only to try and understand what the flipping heck slotherty was trying to say. Part two sees Mr. Pete Doherty in the bath with pan shots of his bathroom and small cat. The cat is lying next to a pile of shit. I jest not. Part three shows his manager / rent boy asking what happened to 'the extras' he gave Pete the night before.

Kate Middleton laughs at Prince William

eyebrow caught Kate Middleton doing some serious side-splitting. Scroll down to see what she was laughing at...

Scroll down for more...

Prince William joins the ancient Order of The Garter - the world's oldest surviving order of chivalry dressed up in ostrich feathers

Cheryl Cole vs. Dannii Minogue.

Look how pissed off Dannii Minogue looks! New X Factor line up after Sharon Osbourne's departure, from left to right bottom row: Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole (WOOP!), Simon Cowell and Dannii Minogue. Top row Dermot o' Leary and Holly Willoughby who present the Xtra Factor. I can't wait to watch Dannii wriggle with jealousy - though she can't move her skeletor face (I know that term is reserved for her sister, but what the heck) so luckily for her, no one will be able to tell that she is spewing with rage at Chezza stealing her limelight. Go Chezza. We heart you. As for Dannii; anyone who spells Dannii with two Is gets what's coming to them.

ok ok we are sad for bothering to look up celeb justgiving pages - but anyway here are a few amusing ones. (Piers and Simon on Amanda's page and Jeff Brazier on Jade's). If anyone finds anymore good'uns please write to us.

http://www.justgiving.com/jadegoody

http://www.justgiving.com/amandaholden

http://www.justgiving.com/nickhewer

Tori Spelling has baby

Tori Spelling has finally popped. Thank the lord she has been pregnant for about a gazillion years. I was beginning to think that the Incredible Hulk would suddenly emerge, after all this time...wait - hang on...  

Tori's reps say:

"Stella Doreen McDermott was born at 3:13 p.m. in a Los Angeles hospital via C-section. She weighed 6 lbs., 8 oz. and was 19 3/4 inches long."

Stella Doreen? better than Jessica Alba's new bub, 'Honor Marie'? Doreen - all I can think about is Doreen from Birds of a feather and as for Honor Marie; hmm. guess there is something quite honorable about having deposited your man juice in Jessica Alba's poon.

eyebrow knows

June 10th 2008

Hayden Panettiere gives us some girl loving

Hayden Pannetiere on her single days for UK Glamour magazine:

"It's great to be single. It's great to have boyfriends. Or girlfriends. There are occasions when you kiss your best friend growing up, having fun and goofing about. Like perfecting your technique!"

And we'll have more of that, thanks Hayden.

Christina Aguilera and her baby Max

Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman's baby Max. X-tina came under fire recently for going out.

"I spend all day with my son and once in a while if I want to go out and have a mommy-daddy night with my husband, I am more than allowed to do that," Christina told Access Hollywood. "They never air [footage] of the paparazzi actually pulling up beside my husband and being like, 'When is she going to leave the house? I have been trying to get a picture of her for weeks.'"

MOMMY-DADDY NIGHT?? WTF is mommy-daddy night?? Lordy the idea of Jordan Bratman playing 'daddy' is not right. Anyway, eyebrow met X-tina at the MTV awards backstage and she was nice and polite... which is more than can be said for most of the others... more later.. (Sugababes/ Liberty X - guilty as sin).

Pamela Anderson's breasts....

Have gone a bit weird. So has her face. What the hell is up with her cleavage area? She's gone all Alicia Douvall on us. (Who, incidentally was spotted walking down the Earl's court road last month in a weird baker's cap; the bouncer outside a gay club was overheard saying 'she's a good tranny if ever there was one'. Poor lass.)

Jessica Alba in a bikini during her pregnancy

Lordy where has the time gone? Jessica Alba and her suddenly huge bump take some time out with her fiance Cash Warren to chill in the pool. Look at the way Cash's head is conveniently placed. No wonder she has such a big grin on her face. Shouldn't it be Gash Warren?

Keira Knightley has moved to Paris to be with lover Rupert Friend. After lesbian romping with Sienna Miller in the Dylan Thomas film ' The Edge of Love', Keira decided to keep an eye on Rupert who is now filming in the French capital. WTF is she wearing in photo below? She also looks like she is about to eat someone - a bit like a croc. Keira dontfrightme. Scroll down to see vid of Sienna talking about Keira and the lesbian overtones in their new film.

eyebrow knows

May 7th 2008

Madge shares lesbian kiss with female backing dancer

Madonna got hot and heavy during her show in Paris last night where she snogged one of her backing dancers. (Remember when she snogged Britters? that was FIVE years ago.) Her face sure looks good for a fifty year old mamma. Don't like to think about her disco flaps though. She dances alot. And wears tight lycra. Not sure what yeastie beasties are lurking down there.

eyebrow knows

June 2nd 2008

Lindsay 'firecrotch' Lohan shows her knickers

Lindsay Lohan is Lindsay blowin (when isn't she... ) at the MTV movie awards at Universal Studios when a gust of wind lifted up her skirt. Surprised Sam Ronson (lesbian sister of Mark Ronson - who is reportedly muff-diving with Lohan) wasn't there trying to take a sneaky peek.

Aisleyne and Mike were spotted snogging in Chinawhite nightclub, over a bottle of Cristal champers. Gruesome twosome.

The couple stated on their website friendsorenemies.com: "While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family."

Jeez. I hope Pete Wentz doesn't start touting his sproglet to all the media like Jessica and Ashlee's daddy dearest. In fact, Lord knows what's going to happen if they have a daughter. Grandaddy Simpson'll probably have her signed up to Playboy before she's even started budding bazookas.

eyebrow knows

May 20th 2008

Pete Doherty and Jade Goody: Gruesome twosome

Holy cow. Please don't let this friendship go any further. Jade and Pete are at some  annual soccer six charity event at Millwall FC. Pixie Geldof was also there, with Winehouse in tow who had come to cheer Pete. (Doherty was also caught pissing in the Millwall cup... it's probably eroded by now).

When Pete was asked about 'that mice video' (see below) he replied:

"One of the mice gave birth didn't it? I think it was Jennifer. She (Winehouse) was really fond of them." 

Ok so this is getting creepy: Jade Goody, Winehouse, Doherty and about ten mice.

eyebrow knows

May 20th 2008

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake to marry?

According to The Sun: "One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumours. They added: "Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids."

Both very good-looking but look sooo similar. In fact, almost like brother and sister. Hmmm.

Paris Hilton is in town to launch her perfume at London's 'Dolce club'. Chanelle and Chantelle obviously followed her around like lap-dogs (dogs being the operative word).

Chantelle (the one on the left) was spotted in West London the other day looking minging and orange like she hasn't washed down there for a long time. She nearly walked into the window of Oasis shop whilst she was looking at her reflection.

Chantelle said yesterday: "I look like Paris Hilton, not on purpose but it's just the way it turned out".

WTF?? you think you look like Paris Hilton? Yes. Maybe. After she has been shat on by a thousand tango men with virulent diarola. And so forth. As for Chanelle... don't even get me started. Filth. Chanelle, NB: the thinness of your eyebrows is inversely proportional to how much class you have.

Claudes gets her wongas out for German Vogue...

Angelina announces she is having twins...

But didn't we all know that anyway? what is the big f'ing deal? She announced the news in Cannes when she was promoting her new film 'Kung Fu Panda' in an interview alongside Jack Black. And it's ALL the Hollywood glitterati have to talk about. That and Ange's million other Benetton children.

Scroll down for more pics of angelina and her kids.

Lordy she is unreal. I can't believe she exists. Jack Black, on the other hand, looks like a big hairy fanny.

Ange, Maddox, Pax and Brad. Pax has grown. Alot. They are cute kids - Pax looks like a 'pina cleaner.

It seems that the Amy Winehouse/ Pete Doherty thing is neverending. If it's not one, it's t'other. But I had to put this up. It's perversely mesmerising. Like I am staring at some wounded apes in the jungle. The trackmarked greasy-wonder (that'll be Pedro) moves in for a smooch outside the Wino's Camden pad.

It looks like her lips are stuck to one of his scabs. Not funny.

Wino and Pete kiss

Lily Allen is on hols at the moment in the French Riviera in the Hotel du Cap Eden-Roc. Scroll down if you want to see more topless pics uncensored. PROB NSFW though she doesn't have that much to see, so no one would really know you were looking at a naked woman. She looks vey pretty though - her male companions seem to enjoy the eyeful. (or eyeless)... better little than fake I say.

SCROLL DOWN FOR MORE...

Hugh Hefner says he is not going to get married to 28 year old Holly Madison, the girl he has been dating for two years.

"I love Holly very much and I think we're going to be together the rest of my life, but marriage isn't part of my puzzle. It's not a personal thing; I just haven’t had much luck with marriages," said Heffner, speaking at a Playmate of the Year luncheon.

Puzzle?? I'm pretty sure the only puzzles Hugh knows are about are long things going into round things.

Radio One's music festival One Big Weekend saw Madge Queen of pop getting kicked off air when she shouted

'You guys are going to have to start f***ing it up out there cause I need to feel some love. I'm going to do an old song. But not too old. F*** the present. Let's live in the past.'

Chris Moyles also snogged Kelly Osbourne when they were onstage to present the next band.

EUGH it's just one big FACE.

Cute girl who manages to utter a few thank-yous unlike most of the other ill-mannered auditionees. Bit strange is her Father's proclamations that 'he would be in seventh heaven if Faryl won and got to perform in front of the Queen and that he would have to take a lot of tissues.'  Bit gross if you ask me. (Bout 46 seconds in) and also look at the women / men / whatever at about 2 mins 38. Hilarious.

The Cruises babysat the Beckham boys over the weekend and went to watch David playing for LA Galaxy, whilst VB trotted off to London (actually on her trotters - we all know she is just a pig dressing up as a human). I mean just look at the pic below; what the hell? it looks like the whole lot of them are actually made from wax-works. Or that they are machines. Or that they are not real. It must be some Scientology thing. It's weird.

eyebrow knows

May 9th 2008

Daisy Lowe and Mark Ronson are papped looking hot

Mark ronson (32) and Daisy Lowe (19) were pictured for the first time last night since annoucing they were together. They were out partying in London last night, with Jade and Mick Jagger in Automat before going on to Bungalow 8. They are uber-trendy - though Mark Ronson always looks a bit gormo - like his muse Wino has just flashed him her gorilla flaps and he can't quite get his head round it. Or something. Or maybe he can't quite deal with the fact that he is nearly a peado. 

'ooh he's so like his mother' I hear you cry. Prince Wills gets down on his knees and blows some kids, sorry I meant some raspberries to some kids on a trip to Porth, Wales (me neither).

The Prince was also challenged to a game of Nintendo Wii and whipped some poor bugger's arse in a game of tennis.

Um. ok so this crazy bitch is ranting to the police in an emergency 911 call that her 'famous husband'  has been beating her up. SEVEN long minutes later she is still drivelling on about some nonsense or other (EBHQ could hardly listen). Anyway - if you can bear it, check out around 3:19 and 6:50 where she really starts harping on about this and that and her bed and her futon and lord knows what else. What the flipping eck does she think 911 are? Some sort of divorce helpline?

I certainly don't condone violence or wife-beating of any sort but....

Kerry Katona gives birth. On tv. I can't type anymore as I have suddenly gone cold. Very cold.

Mischa Barton's thighs

She used to be really skinny. Looks like she's been getting some serious 'munchies'.