Boris Johnson is the mayor of London. 

Take a moment to come to terms with that thought. Let it roll around your head for a while. Let it seep in to your consciousness. 

Londoners woke up on Saturday morning and like most of us after a bender began slowly piecing together the night before. I hope I didn’t do anything too terrible. Oh God, I didn’t vote Tory did I? 

And so Red Ken is just a dream, eventually the scandals and intrigues did him in.

That and a Labour government about as popular as a hedgehog in a nudist camp. Or perhaps a guard at a concentration camp, to paraphrase the outgoing mayor. 

So what will Boris’ London look like?

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Well, his focus seems to be crime and anti-social behaviour so look forward to some half-arsed initiatives like metal detectors at Starbucks and strip searches at the Gherkin.

It’s not as if Ken has left the capital in that much of a mess and the only thing Boris can really fuck up is the tube. Oh dear, I’ve said it now… 

David Cameron must be pleased.

First local election results that wet dreams are made of and now the capital under Tory control.

He managed to keep Boris from saying anything too ludicrous for the whole campaign, much to the dismay of the press, but there must still be a nagging doubt over the blonde clown’s ability to run anything bigger than a train set and expect a few Cameron chums to be parachuted in to ‘keep an eye’ on Boris and the billions at his disposal. 

It’s a jolly 21^st Century London Assembly that Boris has inherited.

The chats he will be able to have with the newly elected BNP assembly member Richard Barnbrook will surely be a delight for young and old alike. Perhaps he can invite him on to Have I Got News For You? How we will laugh as they throw about terms such as ‘picaninny’ and ‘watermelon smile’. 

The true impact of all of this (sorry Londoners, who gets to run your town doesn’t matter a great deal to the rest of us hicks), may not be known for while.

Certainly the combination of this result and the local elections makes the Crewe by-election suddenly interesting.

If the Tories can make inroads in to the current 7,000 majority then the whispers about replacing Gordon Brown before the next election may become shouted demands. 

Does it feel like 1995 yet? Tories are actually on the streets, unashamed and seemingly confident in a way they have not been since the days of Thatcher. Is this mayoral result really the first step on the road to Number 10 for Cameron? 

Not yet. Boris can still fuck up, Brown can still rally and the Tories have to get some policies, fast.

But it’s not beyond the bounds of possibility that the Conservative party could win a general election and that is something that hasn’t been said in a long time. 

Thanks London, let’s hope you haven’t woken to a night-mayor.