The normally unshakeable denizens of the House of Commons were whispering their disquiet today as news of the sexual depravities of one of their own filtered through the corridors of power. 

Senior members of the Lib Dems have been forced in to action to defend their leader, Nick Clegg, after lurid details of his filthy habits were revealed in the glorified wank mag that is GQ. 

Although full details of the depths of his evil cannot be repeated in this family publication, the main claims that have so shocked the political world are that Mr Clegg has slept with ‘a lot less than 30 women’. 

Lembit Opik, forty points in Scrabble and current holder of the coveted ‘Bespectacled Twat of the Year Award’, had to bite back the bile rising in his throat when he spluttered “I don’t know what the fuck he’s playing at to be honest. Where’s the scandal, where’s the gender ambiguity, where’s the fucking Liberal Democrat ethos for fuck’s sake?”

Where's Wally?

Mark Oaten was on hand to offer his expert view. “Personally I feel for his wife. All these years she thought herself married to a normal, rent-boy obsessed coprophiliac whereas he appears to be a devoted, loving husband. It makes me vomit and not in a good way”.

When asked in the GQ interview by Piers Morgan whether he was any good in bed, Mr Clegg replied with no apparent shame "I don't think I am particularly brilliant or particularly bad," adding: "Since the only judge of that is my wife...".

His wife responded today through a spokesman with the word “Bastard”.

She further commented “I’ve been telling all our friends about his perversions and penchant for three in a bed romps with Charles Kennedy. Now I have to admit that we’ve been living a lie, and that in reality he’s a caring and considerate lover. I’m so ashamed”

What Mr Clegg’s political future will be is now unsure. Without a priapic deviant at the helm the Lib Dems seem destined to fail.

Unless there can somehow be a political turnaround of David “Lets have a feel of those tits” Blunkett proportions the days of their leader seem numbered. But who else could the they turn to in their hour of need?

Max Mosley is said to be considering his options.