Where would the paparazzi be without Lindsay Lohan? What with Britney two-stepping her fishnets towards recovery these days, and Paris globetrotting with Good Charlotte, thank god for Lindsay. Things looked pretty bleak when she was in rehab. But thankfully, before you could say the Serenity Prayer, she was out again: boozing, carousing, and launching a leggings line.

If you believe the tabloids, Lindsay is currently engaged in a relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson. While the pair have been friends for a while, recent pictures from the Cannes Film Festival showed the Sapphic sweethearts smooching it up aboard P-Diddy’s yacht.

Guilty eyes: Lohan and Ronson

Well. The Daily Mail calls it “smooching,” or, to quote accurately, “a clinching embrace.” But to the untrained eye, it looks a lot like they’re just hugging, or sharing a spliff or something. It’s also highly possible that Lindsay has passed out on her friend’s shoulder.

However, this being La Lohan that we’re dealing with, nothing is overly improbable. If she converted to Islam and started playing the ukelele professionally, I doubt that anyone would really be surprised.

So what gives with the fascination? Well, Lindsay’s been in the public eye since the tender age of ten, so she’s become pretty astute at the old PR game. The crotch shots, the public displays of affection, the myriad hair colours- almost everything she does is aimed at getting attention. Last year, she was even arrested after the most ostentatious (and crap) celebrity high-speed car chase since O.J. Simpson drove down Interstate 405.

Also, thanks to her personal problems, Lindsay is broke. Two sojourns in rehab and four movie flops later, she’s practically uninsurable. So what to do when you’re a struggling, unemployed actress hounded by paparazzi? Snog girls!

It isn’t subtle, but it works. After all, teenage girls do it all the time to make boys like them. Lindsay’s just taking it a step further. And cashing in on the consequent hype.

Naughty. Lohan reveals pant.

The New York Post reported a few days ago that Lindsay has been offered $1 million to come out of the closet exclusively with OK! Magazine (aka enabler of all things Kerry Katona). Which is budget really, when you consider that the bidding war for pictures of Brangelina’s unborn twins has reached $15 million. Still, $1 million isn’t that bad. It’s more money than the US takings for “I Know Who Killed Me,” Lindsay’s last movie (she played dead twin strippers or something).

Lindsay’s mother, Dina Lohan, initially denied that the pair were more than friends. But as soon as her daughter’s misadventures had the slightest whiff of cash about them, Dina was quick to respond. “If she’s happy, I’m happy,” Lohan Sr. said. “Samantha’s great.”

Lindsay apparently gets more than her looks from her mother. She upped her game yesterday, going for dinner at Il Sole in LA with galpal Ronson and troubled singer Lily Allen. Alliterative headline writers are dreaming already of the day when “Lindsay and Lily’s Illicit Lesbian Love Liason” gets into print. Talk about tabloid tongue-twister.